Some days I do better than others waiting. Then some days it feels like life just stands still. It seems that everyone else's life is moving forward and we're stuck. If it weren't for Abi and Eli I think I'd be stir-crazy for sure. But there is something, or rather someone, missing. Nothing feels quite complete like before. Now there is an ever present ache inside me that says... yes wonderful, but somehow I'm not all here. Part of me is eons away, in an orphanage in Ethiopia. Yes, part of me is not here.
While I could try to recreate for you the past 3 months, I have decided not to. Instead I am going to update you on where we are now and what's next without rehashing all the ups and downs of the past three months - suffices to say that it feels like more downs than ups due, in great part to new regulations (don't you just love government involvement in your life?) on the adoption front.
So, here's where we stand. All of our paperwork is completed and is sitting in Colorado with our adoption agency(been sitting there for 2 months now). There it sits waiting on a PAIR (pre-adoption immigration requirement) letter. This is the new piece of paperwork the government now requires. So, how do we get said paperwork? I'm so glad you asked (actually I'm not glad at all I'd rather the new process not exist, but alas here we are...). So, in Ethiopia our agency is working to gather all of Our Girl's paperwork. They are currently waiting on paperwork from Our Girl's sister. I'm not sure that is the final part of it or anything but we just know they are waiting on that piece at the present. When that piece (and whatever else needs to be acquired) are in hand, they will submit her paperwork to the U.S. Embassy in Ethiopia. The Embassy will go over all of her paperwork, deciding on whether she is adoptable and appropriate to be matched with us. Then they will send the same documents to USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) for them to do the same thing again (because if once is good, twice is better). Once they have signed off on the paperwork, they will provide the PAIR letter that accompanies our dossier (paperwork sitting in Colorado).
Once that coveted letter is with our paperwork, it will all go to Washington D.C. to be authenticated, then over to Ethiopia to be translated. After that we will be assigned a court date. At this point, it is our plan for Jeff, Abi, Eli and myself to all travel to Ethiopia for court. After the court date. Our Girl will be legally Ours. Then we return to the US to await our Embassy appointment date. Once that takes place, I will travel back to Ethiopia to bring her home.
In some sense it feels like it did when I was working on my PhD... the end sounds so good and yet like it will never arrive. I ache to be there. My heart hurts to be here with a child so very far away. I love talking about her and about how God has brought us to this point, but it is also difficult to do so. You see when you ask, it is a double edged sword... I know you care (which I desperately need to hear) but it causes me to have to admit that we are no closer than the last time you asked, and that is hard to verbalize.
When? Our agency won't even speculate. I typically tell people, "maybe next summer?" but I don't really know. The earliest possible timetable would look something like this (her paperwork is finished in Oct, PAIR letter arrives in January, court date in February, Embassy appointment and homecoming in April). But the reality is I dare not hope for the best. Don't misunderstand... I WANT IT... but nothing about this adoption has gone fast, so why would it now? I simply have to trust that God has it in his hands and He will bring her home at the right time. Why is that time not now? I don't know, but He does.
So, for now I will keep loving her from afar, sending FB messages through another of the children in her Orphanage, sending care packages through others traveling to her Orphanage, sending letters via snail mail, and praying for her multiple times a day. I also keep in mind that every day is one day closer. I may not know the exact day, but I do know I am closer today than I was yesterday. And for now it's enough... it has to be.
